Is Borderline Personality Disorder Different for Men and Women?
The issue is when to call it. When you decide enough is enough and to cut the hardline is the determinate factor that will end the relationship forever.
I've been pondering this very question for a few days now.
It's been somber at times. You asked this question at a perfect time for me to answer. Thanks for the A2A. My boyfriend and I are the perfect example. And I can tell you I never had such a relationship. It is extremely difficult but also very beautiful. There are good days and bad days like in every relationship but it's muuuuch more intense. For example imagine us sitting on the couch.
I wait until he shows me that he loves me and sits beside me or kisses me etc. But I forget in these moments so I just wait and when he doesn't give me romantic attention then I am pissed. But he is also pissed bc he wanted the exact same. But even when it's hard I wouldn't leave h But even when it's hard I wouldn't leave him.
And he wouldn't leave me too. But the most funniest thing is that its kind of a challenge for us. The first one who gives up breaks up loses. We both don't want to win but we also don't want to lose so we just do this how we think is right and the one who couldn't stand it no more loses. It sounds kinda weird but we love each other really. We plan future and work future.
If you have any detailed questions then just ask :. When I can't do it all, or be it all super-mom, wife, college student, homemaker etc.
I feel like a huge worthless failure, and why would anyone my hubby of 10 yrs. Want a broken failure to love?! Then abandonment whether real or perce Then abandonment whether real or perceived steps in to finish me off. Then because that's too much pain and emotion to feel.
What You Need to Know When Dating Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder
Unlike outward BPDs, who ghost from others I do it to myself for disassociation is like a drug to take the pain away at this stage, you are basically out of your body or at least quiet riding passenger. Disassociation is your body as well as your minds last stitch effort of protecting itself if you don't come out of it quickly, or can't seek professional help as it can lead to psychosis. So to disassociate, yes, is extremely serious THIS is where it gets dark really really hopelessly dark it almost feels like a horrible trip on acid- without the strange colors, weird faces etc.
That dread. You dont know who you are, you see a stranger in the mirror that you hate with all you have. You dont care about yourself because you feel nothing. This is when the damage becomes really destructive:. And pain is what we know, that ache like your heart is ripping from your chest it physically hurts it feels like painful slow torture. My 2 things I wish I could feel, but physically hurts like my skin is burning off in hell. To unlock my last gate inside, to do more than touch through the bars to feel full intimacy.
My hubby is also BPD, we are going on 11 yrs still going strong how some wonder, it's because we TRULY understand each other and yes we are currently working threw our BPD hangups with a professional for the sake of our 2 little girls. These repeat over and over.
This is the most honest answer I can give, it's an intense love hate relationship. One minute they are a match made in heaven the next they will experience splitting and distrust and hate each other. If they are both willing to admit that they have this problem though the silver lining could be that they help each other through it with a lot of maturity and humility, both have to admit th They both probably do truly love the other, but unless they both want to seek treatment and put down boundaries with each other they won't last and the end result will be painful.
The pro to this relationship though is that they can both help each other notice when they are splitting and help each other begin to learn how to self soothe if they are both willing to change they can help each other change for the positive, so this relationship can swing either way really bad or really good.
Thank you for the A2A - this is a good question and difficult to answer. I think it would depend on different factors such as if both people are getting treatment through therapy, how long each has been getting therapy and how well each understand this disorder.
If both people have not been getting therapy for a year or more, I wouldn't even think about entertaining the possibility of a relationship. And if both people didn't have a full understanding of the symptoms, actions and behaviors that accompany Borderline Personality Disorder - no way. If both BPD people had been in therapy and had If both BPD people had been in therapy and had a good understanding of the behaviors that are part of this disorder, then - and only then - might I personally consider a relationship with another BPD person.
That would give each person a fighting chance to realize when their partner's behaviors were just regular moodiness or coming from a place down deep withing their disorder. Even then though, distinguishing between the two could get difficult - especially if both people happened to be experiencing symptoms at the same time and both refused or were unable to realize this.
Funny how sometimes I can start out with one answer in mind, begin thinking and writing and suddenly my original answer has changed nearly degrees from what I was originally going to say.
Oh, wow My son and his wife both exhibit many, if not MOST of the diagnostic criteria for BPD although neither is diagnosed. It is a drama-filled relationship.
Yet, it looks like that is exactly what has happened to me here. In your question, you wondered if there would be some kind of feedback loop between the two BPD people where that would amplify the perceived actions of the other.
You can order Borderline Personality Disorder Dating Each Other after check, compare the prices and check day for shipping. Some people are are interested to buy Borderline Personality Disorder Dating Each Other on the cheap price. While the item could be priced similarly at different shops. Jul 24, †∑ I't's uncanny how often people with NPD and BPD seem to find each other. Every one of my boyfriends (except for one, who was severely bipolar) and my ex-husband were narcissists. I know a lot of other borderlines who say they have the same problem-they . Researchers have found that BPD symptoms and diagnosis successfully predict dating satisfaction and stress, adolescentsí conflict with romantic partners, domestic violence, and separation and divorce. Typically individuals with BPD have difficulty trusting others. Irritability and inappropriate anger with temper tantrums may occur.
Thinking about this, the answer would very, very likely be yes. In the throes of a borderline episode, even though you may be aware of what is going on in your mind, you often cannot control your thoughts, moods or actions well enough to calm yourself down to a reasonable degree.
Especially if your partner is going through the same thing. The truth be told, this could even become dangerous as borderlines are prone to violence in their rage - to themselves or to others.
So even if two people with BPD do understand each other and the nature of their mental illnesses at any given time, that does not mean that things would, or even could, be worked out rationally should even just one partner be in the middle of a borderline episode.
To exactly answer your question: It would not work out at all if two people with borderline personality disorder were in a relationship together. The more I think about it, the worse of an idea it becomes. As someone with BPD, I have enough trouble in a "regular" relationship - I cannot imagine a relationship with someone like me! I think you've answered your own question pretty effectively, actually! A lot would depend on the self-awareness and preparedness of the two people in the relationship.
A couple where two people have done their work-whatever their work happens to be-is going to work better than a couple where they haven't.
I have no issue with her dating or sleeping with other men and have told her so as we arenít committed to each other. As a matter of a fact, Iíve dated so many BPDís over the course of the decade, that I actually get off on the promiscuity. Nov 28, †∑ Narcissists and Borderline individuals also have something else in common that makes them likely to choose each other: they both can quickly . New Studies show that it's Borderline Personality Disorder Dating Each Other over easier to get laid when messaging girls who have asked for sex in the last hour. Don't messaging stuck-up bitches on Tinder who never respond, and finally get laid the easy way with JustBang/
In a relationship where both partners had a solid handle on their own symptoms, triggers, emotional regulation, coping skills, etc. The less that was the case, the more intensity and difficulty I'd e The less that was the case, the more intensity and difficulty I'd expect to see in the relationship. To be honest, this doesn't even have to be a question about borderline-the answer is the same for any mental health issue, or past trauma or loss, or hot-button family dynamic.
On the one hand, the more "stuff" there is in a relationship, all other factors being equal, the more challenging it's likely to be. On the other hand, our "stuff" often pushes us to learn and grow in ways we otherwise wouldn't.
Someone who has a borderline diagnosis, and is aware enough to ask the question, is probably also doing a lot of emotional work that someone without borderline might never have touched.
BPD person dating another BPD person? and when we were first serve each other, he would tell me to fuck off and then call and text at all hours with weird messages. One day, after he'd tried to hurt me with 'I fucked someone else' along with some other random cursing, I asked if he had ever heard of Borderline Personality disorder, and he. Apr 26, †∑ I can tell you from experience that it can go either way, like any relationship. We all have our stuff going on. What I can also tell you from direct experience is that the two people can share the same psychosis at the same time. This is a real d. Apr 19, †∑ When youíre dating someone with BPD, it is vital to recognize that their assumptions about your relationship are often very different than your own, and this can profoundly color the way they relate to you. Although each person has their own unique experience, these are some common thought patterns people with BPD tend to have:Author: Elisabet Kvarnstrom.
So: without therapy and personal work, I'd expect a high degree of emotional volatility and relational instability. With therapy and personal work, you might get a bit of that most relationships do, if they last long enough -but it also might be amply counterbalanced by the sense of mutual understanding and support.
I see there are lots of answers from actual BPDs which is great because my answer would simply be, "Yikes! I believe the idea behind the question is that wouldn't two people who are aware of and share the same foibles be able to sustain a relationship, but that implies logic can be superimposed on raw emotion and reactions. That would require That would require an unrealistic and statistically improbable idea that both would be able to be at a healthy place regularly and simultaneously.
It is a disorder that is managed, not cured. I can't really predict what this would look like because people are individuals even with BPD. However, it wouldn't be my cup of tea to be with another person with BPD because I have a hard enough time handling myself and my own emotions and I don't want to have to deal with someone else's extreme emotions, normal emotions in other people are hard enough for me to deal with without feeling them myself. I could not handle the level of stress associated with caring for another person on the same level as I am, trying to keep myself stable and raising my kids.
No offe No offense intended to anyone. I know BPD I see it every single day and I just thought about living with someone exactly like me and it wouldn't work.
I am not borderline, so please do not take my view on it too seriously, I am ignorant of how it is to live with it:. Hahahaha - No seriously, it depends on the person and their upbringing, social circles and devotion to follow a particular set of moral values. This because they truly fear abandonment, it having happened to them in the past.
This because they need security. MDMA might be useful, too early to tell. But it lets people revisit their trauma and process them. This is just my instinctive guess, would be nice to hear a psychiatrists opinion.
We sometimes reach orgasm at the same time without even telling each other. It's an incredible experience however, there is also too much hardship. We starve ourselves when we are sad, one of us always has to make sure the other one is happy. We dont hug sometimes just not to bother one another.
We take revenge for no reason. We are both using dating apps to talk less to each other in order to keep the excitement going.
We constantly test our faith and also look for attention from other people. We give out money to people we barely know. We must have all the love in this world or we are sim We must have all the love in this world or we are simply just not happy. Im in one of those relationships, its like a mirror, it reflects back makes me aware and conscious. Allows me to love myself and accept the dark side.
I didnt know anything about borderline personality reading more about it really hits home. How bad do you want it?
Bpd dating each other
The change is a huge factor. It is worth itevery person is worth it with right guidance.
You have two people, both suffering from feelings of low self esteem. Both may be cutting themselves and threatening suicide. One has made two attempts by swallowing pills. Anxiety and depression are constant companions. Any little thing pisses you off. One is a binge eater while the other gets aggressive over this and kicks in doors. The short answer is this question is impossible to factually answer because there are too many factors. I pictured this : chaotic shouting matches.
Party A said: I don't love you, always shouting. Party B replied: so do you, huh, I just realized we are soulmates. The neighbors will have sleepless nights. I am curious here if someone can enlighten me. Thank you.
Sign In. Although each person has their own unique experience, these are some common thought patterns people with BPD tend to have:. Nobody cares about me as much as I care about them, so I always lose everyone I care about-despite the desperate things I try to do to stop them from leaving me. These thoughts may be completely at odds with your own perception of your partner, but it is imperative to understand that for them, they are very real, and can drive them toward extreme and seemingly irrational behavior.
Navigating through this emotional minefield can be difficult and painful for both of you, but knowing that their thoughts and behaviors are the product of intensely powerful perceptional distortions deeply rooted in their mental health disorder, rather than a reflection of your own shortcomings, can bring some comfort. For Thomas, educating himself about BPD helped him move from self-blame to empathy and compassion:. There are a lot of nuances, complexities, and lines to be read through with BPD, but mostly I see Borderline Personality Disorder as an illness about pain, fear, and struggling to cope with all of that.
But the common conception is just [that they are] crazy, which is an extraordinarily damaging misconception to those who suffer from it. Unfortunately, the misconceptions surrounding borderline personality disorder often lead people to assume relationships with those who suffer from the condition are doomed to fail.
In part, this is spurred by the myth that BPD is untreatable, a false but prevalent belief that can too often remove hope. In reality, with the right treatment, many people with BPD can learn to manage their symptomsand a substantial number achieve remission to the point where they no longer meet the diagnostic criteria for the illness.
By integrating specialized BPD therapies like Dialectical Behavior Therapy with other evidence-based clinical and holistic therapies within the context of a comprehensive treatment plan, it is possible to disrupt the emotional and behavioral instability of BPD and establish inner tranquility. Along with individual and group therapies, couples therapy is often an integral part of healing from BPD, as individuals and as a team.
With the guidance of an experienced therapist who understands the unique challenges presented by BPD, you can create strategies for supporting your partner and yourself while nurturing and fortifying your relationship. As Dr. Because their emotion is all there, and acting that way is all they know, and then when you show them an easier way to be, and to act, they see how much easier life can be.
At Bridges to Recovery, we specialize in diagnosing and treating psychiatric and emotional issues such as borderline personality disorder. We provide compassionate and effective care in a serene residential setting so clients can focus on their treatment and recovery without the worries of external pressures and stressors."Back From the Edge" - Borderline Personality Disorder - Call us: 888-694-2273
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Skip to content Admissions Search for:. Begin Your Recovery Journey. Struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder? You're Not Alone. We're Here to Help. Email Us. Passion and Fear in BPD Relationships Borderline Personality Disorder is a chronic and complex mental health disorder marked by instability, and interpersonal relationships are often the stage on which this instability plays out. Although each person has their own unique experience, these are some common thought patterns people with BPD tend to have: I must be loved by all the important people in my life at all times or else I am worthless.
If someone treats me badly, then I become bad. When I am alone, I become nobody and nothing. For Thomas, educating himself about BPD helped him move from self-blame to empathy and compassion: There are a lot of nuances, complexities, and lines to be read through with BPD, but mostly I see Borderline Personality Disorder as an illness about pain, fear, and struggling to cope with all of that.