How To Choose A Partner Wisely
If you're thinking about this person as a long term partner, you should feel like you and your partner have the same goals for the relationship. Is it more useful to make a list of the times you and your boyfriend communicated effectively or poorly?
Making a list of times that you and your boyfriend communicated effectively can help you see whether you do a lot of successful communicating.
However, it won't necessarily help you see the big picture. It's important to be aware of times you and your boyfriend communicated poorly so you can see if that's a recurring theme in your relationship. This list won't give you a holistic view of your communication, though. You should make a list of times you and your boyfriend communicated effectively, as well as one of times you two communicated poorly. Making both lists gives you a more realistic and complete view of communication in your relationship.
If your boyfriend tries to limit the time you spend with anyone other than him, that's a huge red flag. In a healthy relationship, the partners have lives outside of their significant other. Abandoning you in an unfamiliar place is definitely a form of abuse.
It's actually physical abuse, though, because it's designed to make you feel physically unsafe. Emotional abuse is often less blatant. If your married boyfriend lies about his willingness to leave his spouse, then he's probably a jerk and you should consider breaking up with him.
But this isn't a sign of abusiveness. Only one of the above answers is a type of emotional abuse. That said, though, all of them are glaring red flags, and if you notice any of them, they're perfectly good reasons to break up with a guy. If you don't want to break up with your boyfriend but do think your relationship could be improved, what should you do?
If you think a guy is right for you, you don't need to break up even if your relationship needs work. No relationship is ever going to be perfect all of the time, but there's something you can do to be happier in your current one. Click on another answer to find the right one Bring up the things that bother you about your relationship in a calm, nonjudgmental way, and your boyfriend should be willing to listen.
It'll take some work, but the two of you can make your relationship better! If there's something bothering you about your relationship, you don't have to just passively accept it. If you try to, you'll only end up resenting your boyfriend, which will damage the relationship even more than the original issue. He should make you feel good about yourself and you should be excited to see him again.
For instance, the right guy will want you to succeed at work and be offered a promotion, and you should want the best for him as well. You should also share similar values and thoughts about love, trust, and respect. While values can vary from person to person, the right guy will share yours. This article was co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD. She has instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York.
She focuses on relationship issues, stress management, and career coaching. Categories: Dating. Log in Facebook Loading Google Loading Civic Loading No account yet?
While these values will vary from couple to couple, it is important to think about what is important to you in life and whether or not your partner also values these things.
How to know if you are dating the right man
For example, love, care, trust, and respect are values, while sports and television are interests. Consider your common interests. It's important to have common interests with the guy you're dating. Your relationship should go beyond amazing chemistry.
Think about things you both like to do, and how you spend your time when you're together.
Not having a lot of common interests isn't a deal breaker, but both partners should be willing to try out some activities the other person enjoys. Decide what's important to you in a relationship. It's important to be clear about what matters most to you when you're trying to figure out if the guy you're dating is a good fit.
Sit down and make a list of things that are important to you in a relationship. Some examples include spending quality time together, sharing similar life goals, and mutual respect.
Method 1 Quiz Should it be a deal breaker if you and your boyfriend don't share common interests or values? Only if you don't share common interests. Only if you don't share common values. Either one should be a deal breaker. Neither one should be a deal breaker. Method 2. Ask yourself how you feel when you're together. He should make you feel good about yourself, valuing your personality, intelligence, and kindness.
If a guy is right for you, you should have fun while you are together. The right guy will make you feel loved, appreciated, and valued. Some examples of feeling include happy, sad, anxious, curious, and excited. Think about whether you bring out the best in each other. If you're dating the right guy, you should both bring out the best in one another. This means encouraging each other to grow in all cts of your lives - emotionally, personally, and professionally.
The right guy brings out your best personality traits, and you do the same for him. Try making a list of your best qualities and behaviors.
Jul 06, · If you're dating the right guy, you should both bring out the best in one another. This means encouraging each other to grow in all cts of your lives - emotionally, personally, and professionally. The right guy brings out your best personality traits, and you do the same for him. Try making a list of your best qualities and behaviors%(7). May 04, · Top 5 Signs You are Dating the Right Guy. 1. You bring out the best in each other, not the worst. You encourage each other to grow personally, professionally and emotionally, recognizing that change is positive and healthy. 2. You trust each other and can count on one another to do the right thing.
Consider your communication. Communication is key to a successful relationship, and how you and your guy communicate is a great indicator as to whether he is right for you. Both partners should be able to talk openly about their feelings, hopes, and dreams. And both should listen carefully to what the other person is saying. Even if it's just small talk or what seems like an insignificant experience, it's important that you and your guy communicate openly and regularly.
An example of good communication might include the time you argued but both took time to listen to the other person's thoughts and feelings.
An example of poor communication might be when he failed to inform you he wasn't coming to hang out after previously making plans to do so. Compare the lists to get a holistic perspective on your overall communication as a couple, including areas where you can improve. Ask yourself whether he treats you with respect. If the guy you're dating doesn't respect you, he's not right for you. He should respect your time, talents, and opinions.
He should be okay with disagreeing. He shouldn't lie to you, second-guess you, jerk you around, or try to micromanage your life. If a guy is right for you, he will respect and value you as an individual.
Compare the lists. Method 2 Quiz Is it more useful to make a list of the times you and your boyfriend communicated effectively or poorly? Effectively Close! Poorly Almost! Actually, you should make both lists. Method 3. Avoid men who physically abuse you.
If a guy you are dating is physically abusive, he is not right for you. You should leave a physically abusive relationship as soon as you can. Seek support from friends, family, or by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at Domestic violence includes physical abuse such as:  Slapping, kicking, punching, biting, choking, and pulling hair Harming you with weapons Hurting your children Not allowing you to eat or sleep Preventing you from getting medical attention after the abuse Forbidding you from calling the police Abandoning you in a place that is unfamiliar Forcing you to use alcohol or drugs Forcing you to have sex or perform sexual acts.
Learn the signs of emotional and psychological abuse. If you are in a relationship with a guy who is emotionally abusive, he is not right for you. You should leave an emotionally abusive relationship as soon as possible and seek help from friends, family, or your local domestic violence center.
This type of domestic violence often evolves into physical abuse.
Emotional and psychological abuse can include:  Humiliating or embarrassing you Constantly putting you down Making mean jokes or regularly making fun of you Withdrawing affection Guilt trips Using money as a way to control you Constantly calling or texting you when you are not with him Isolating you from friends and family. Reconsider dating someone who is in another relationship. If you're dating someone who has another significant other, like a wife, husband, girlfriend, or boyfriend, you should reconsider the relationship.
This is especially true if the guy promises to break up with his significant other, but does not.Is He The One? 5 Questions to Know for Sure (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)
Watch out for guys who only contact you sporadically. If he only contacts you sporadically, or relies predominately on email, text, or social media to make plans, it could be a sign he's not that into you.
This is also the case if he only wants to see you when he wants something, like money, sex, or a shoulder to cry on. Method 3 Quiz Which of the following is type of emotional abuse? Isolating you from your friends and family. Instead, many of us will feel a certain degree of ambivalence, doubt, or have second thoughts. So if you're at the point where you're questioning your relationship, here are some signs your partner is actually the right one for you, according to experts.
Imagine that your second thoughts have actually led you to break up with your significant other. Next, imagine dropping them off at the airport, knowing that you're sending them off and that you'll never see or hear from them again. Do you feel sad, devastated, maybe even a little panicky?
1. You Can Let Your Guard Down
Or do you feel relieved, happy, or very ambivalent? It's so easy to have second thoughts about your partner once the honeymoon period ends and you feel like you know everything there is to know about your partner. But if you trust them wholeheartedly and feel completely secure in the relationship, they may be the right one for you.
Your relationship may not be as hot or you may not see eye-to-eye on everything anymore, but as long as there is a "strong foundation of trust," Daniels says they can be the right person for you.
When you have second thoughts about your partner, it may not even have anything to do with them at all. Danielle Forshee, doctor of psychology and licensed clinical social worker, tells Bustle. Thoughts are things that we say to ourselves and strongly influence how we interpret behaviors of others and our expectations.
12 Uncomfortable Signs You’re Dating The Right Person
Our relationship is on the decline. Making you coffee in the morning may not seem like a romantic gesture, but some people would love it if their partner was thoughtful like that. So if you've actually sat down and really compared your second thoughts about your relationship to the reality of things and found your relationship is actually pretty solid, that's a good sign.
As Dr. Forshee says, it's always important to check yourself as your thoughts may not be consistent with the true reality of what is actually going on. So if you are still willing to put in the work to make your relationship last and you still see a happy future with them, your partner may be "The One. You may have second thoughts about your relationship if you find yourself disagreeing with your partner a lot.