SINGLE, DATING, ENGAGED, MARRIED - The Best Marriage
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Please visit our online at breakaway ministries. Is there hope out there? Like a sailor on turbulent seas, we need to look up and see the North Star: the fixed points in the sky whereby we might navigate the objective realities in life. We need the skill-set to know how to journey through life and how to select the right people to journey alongside. In this book we will chart a course through the four relational phases that the vast majority of human beings on the planet will pass through in their twenties: singleness, dating, engaged and married.
In each of these phases, we will look at what eternal purposes should be pursued in each stage, and how to pursue them. This power can be constructive or destructive.
Our satisfaction and our safety will be ensured if we can aim these powerful desires toward divine purposes. Get A Copy. More Details Other Editions 5.
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This book was my first read on this subject since my mid-teens. As evidenced by Josh Harris recently pulling I Kissed Dating Goodbye out of print and releasing a documentary revisiting the opinions expressed in his book, conservative Christian mindset on romance has been on a roller coaster for the past decade or two. As a literal, rule-seeking teenager I sought a "relationship manual" in books like Harris's though I never read I Kissed Dating Goodbye and used them to create a framework This book was my first read on this subject since my mid-teens.
As a literal, rule-seeking teenager I sought a "relationship manual" in books like Harris's though I never read I Kissed Dating Goodbye and used them to create a framework that-while not wrong-was legalistic. I'm not blaming books or their authors! Books are opinions, not scriptures. It's the reader's responsibility to read with discernment. Most of the well-meaning authors of these books wanted to share an alternative to the world's approach to dating and sexuality, not mandate universal statements on how a Christian ought to interact with the opposite gender.
But that's what I and many other Christians did. All of that to say, after realizing that my mental framework on the subject might be functional but was extra-biblical I stopped reading these books for a while.
This one caught my attention because several of my friends read it and spoke highly of it. Reminding myself to find wisdom in a multitude of counselors book authors in this case without putting the advise on the same level as Scripture, I grabbed the title off Audible and started listening. The author actually emphasizes the point I just made.
He advises readers that the point of the book is to set forth principles, not rules. And it does just that. No matter what relationship stage you are in-Single, Dating, Married, or Engaged-this book encourages you to seek God's will where you're at, offers Biblically relevant questions to ask yourself to evaluate your current stage, and offers advise on preparing for the future.
As the author says I'm paraphrasing"God doesn't promise you marriage but He does promise you Himself and that is enough. Wow wow wow. This book and Ben Stuart will definitely call you to a higher place in your relationship, if you're in one, and was always, always inspired by the word of God. Ben pulled every bullet point from scripture, and I found that very refreshing. I've got a lot of work to do in myself now if I want to better prepare my heart and mind for marriage, so be warned-you'll be called into change!
This is close to 4 stars but I felt that the earlier chapters of this book dealing with the single and dating were targeting a younger audience. Sometimes it had the tone of a youth pastor speaking with his senior high young people. I thought that this tone improved as the subsequent phases were addressed.
I also felt like there was some padding that didn't contribute to the argument. Generally, it seems that as with many things, our culture runs to the extremes.
There are some that will not talk This is close to 4 stars but I felt that the earlier chapters of this book dealing with the single and dating were targeting a younger audience. There are some that will not talk to a person of the opposite sex for fear of being seen as "courting" or who make a heart commitment far too early in a relationship.
Single dating engaged married barnes and noble
And this early commitment comes long before the couple can sustain it, or even prepared to address marriage. Stuart suggests that dating shouldn't last longer than six months and that discussion of marriage and life together prior to that point is inappropriate.
If someone isn't in a position to be married in six months then they shouldn't be dating. His point is that talk of marriage when marriage is impossible leads to many problems. We certainly should stop and ask-"whoever thought dating in junior high was a good idea? Where men and women hookup and have casual sex while having no intention of a relationship. While society wants to contend this has no adverse effects, it is especially clear spiritually that this is not the case.
Stuarts basic argument is that dating is a good thing. It is a process rather than a status. It should serve to determine if two individuals are compatible for marriage. Relationships would do well to start out as friends, and to remain as friends until life circumstances permit a relationship to develop beyond that point.
Individuals should guard against giving themselves to another too quickly. Time apart is not a bad thing, it will reveal what the relationship is really made of.
Clarity is vital, so too autonomy, and honesty. While these seem like obvious points, they demand godly character from both individuals.
A couple should work through problems, and have disagreements. Those who have the mutual desire to work though those problems and disagreements have affirmation that the relationship has true potential. In every step of the process God must reign supreme. Perhaps no other time of life has the potential for greater good or greater harm.
Stuart concludes: "Seeking God first is like locating the North Star. Without him, the skies go dark. When human beings severed ties with God in Genesis 3, you see in the following chapters of Genesis where young men die and women get exploited sexually.
This has been the case throughout history. View all 3 comments. I enjoyed the structure of this book as it goes through the different stages of a relationship.
It is most certainly written for a singles and for those pursuing marriage. I would not really recommend it to anyone already married. The pace of the first half of the book is too slow for me, and the first couple of chapters seemed to drag on, they had good truth; but at least for me, not much of the information was new.
Personally, the book took off in the engaged and married sections even though I I enjoyed the structure of this book as it goes through the different stages of a relationship.
Personally, the book took off in the engaged and married sections even though I am neither at this time. I think this is because the book is written more for couples trying to assess if marriage is the right thing for them given that the book tells the perspective of what should happen and what you should be shooting for in each of the stages - so really it gives you a lot of food for thought, especially if reading as a couple.
All things considered, I really enjoyed the examples the author used to illustrate each stage of the relationship. He uses Biblical examples to show how the stage in your relationship can still glorify God in every way. I especially loved the analysis on the lives an ministry of Priscilla and Aquila, I've never really stopped to analyze these two persons in detail, that was quite a great experience. So, I say, if you're single, go ahead and read the whole book it will be good for you!
For those engaged or thinking about it, also go ahead and read it - you guys will probably enjoy it the most.SINGLE, DATING, ENGAGED, MARRIED - How to Know That You Know
And for those who are already married, borrow the book from someone and read the last two chapters the two on marriage which are really good - they're my personal favorites. Now that's not something you find a lot in literature!